Mother's Day: She made sure I had everything, now I want to do the same

Like many, for me the barrage of reminders in every shop and supermarket that Mother’s Day is approaching hits me hard. Losing my mum suddenly two years ago, soon after having just become a mum myself for the first time; it’s hard to truly explain the impact of having the life you knew, so suddenly pulled like a rug from under you.

Growing up as an only child with a single mum she wasn’t just a parent she was my everything. A funny and formidable ex-social worker, I remember her laugh when I once described her as a unique mix of Moira Rose and Kathy Burke! Her lasagne and her hugs were legendary, as was her political commentary and knowledge of soul music or Chelsea FC.

As such a giant of a character, her influence on me and the choices I’ve made in my life and career are pretty obvious. But it wasn’t until I found myself applying for a job at Little Village baby banks explaining how I related to their values of solidarity and love, that I realised just how much I had witnessed her struggle.

Child poverty can feel like such an alien, policy term – I never knew or felt that I was ‘a poor kid’, my mum was fiercely determined to make sure I had everything I wanted. I didn’t think it was unusual when she finished her 9-5 job, made my dinner, put me to bed and, already exhausted, went to her night shift working in a bar. When I now find myself looking at yet another rising utility bill or food cost, I’m completely astonished at how she survived a full year in 1991 on strike pay of just £20 a week after bills – all while dragging me along to political rallies, teaching me to stand up for people and things I believed in.

When I recently listened to a voice note from a woman called Sara who had visited the Little Village baby bank in Camden it completely floored me, she said: “For a lot of single parents, we have to put on a real front. Feeling like you are failing your children, is every parent’s worst nightmare, which stays with you.” Her words sounded just like my mum. That strong front that she had put on and I had believed; despite her exhaustion, anxiety and health issues, she made sure I had every opportunity and felt loved beyond measure. This is what we see at Little Village every day, parents who love their children and are trying their best.

Solidarity at Little Village isn’t just a term in a list of organisational values, its real and evident in the staff and volunteers that show up every day to help parents who are often at their most vulnerable, without judgement.  It’s also somewhere I’ve found so many kindred spirits who like me, are inspired to help others having witnessed their own mum/parent’s struggle.

While I will still approach Mother’s Day with immense sadness about not being able to spoil my own mum, I’m planning a trip with my, now 4-year-old daughter to buy some nice toiletries for a mum who needs them as part of Little Village’s ‘Celebrate Mums’ campaign. I love the idea that when a woman somewhere in London opens the box of pre-loved clothes, nappies and essentials that she has been sent by Little Village for her baby, she will also find a bundle of nice things for her. I love that this gift will show her someone cares about her too, and however hard her situation is, though she may not know me, she’s not alone.

Whether your mother figure is still around or not, to mark International Women’s Day or Mother’s Day this year, I want to encourage you to join me in showing solidarity and honouring your mum by supporting another mum who needs your help right now. You can find a list of the toiletries that we need and where to drop them off at one of our baby banks across London here or you can help to pay for these ‘Thank you’ bundles of toiletries to be delivered to a mum this month by making a financial donation.

Think of your mum and help another mum today, thank you!