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Sara's story
I want to tell you about the Christmas that changed everything for me.
I grew up in north London with my parents. Life was good, I worked hard, got my GCSEs and A Levels and went on to study fashion at college.
After all my studies I settled down – I loved to work and I met my partner. After a while we had children, two gorgeous girls. The oldest is a really family girl; shy and sensible and really bright. My youngest is really outgoing, competitive and super confident!
I would do anything for my children; I just want to protect them. So, when my relationship started to break down, I knew we had to go.
The three of us went from living in our lovely family home to having effectively nothing. I had no job, no money. I was terrified and embarrassed; I didn’t tell anyone. How was this my life?
Luckily, I had somewhere for us to stay but I suddenly found myself with my two small girls in a cold flat in December, and I was desperately looking for work to bring more money in. The reality hit me hard and I felt so low – how would I afford the bills? The basics for my children? It was nearly Christmas, and I didn’t have any money to get my girls gifts.
As a single parent I felt ashamed to ask for help. I had lost a lot of trust in people at the time; I thought that people didn’t care or would judge me. I just wanted my children to grow up in a safe and nice environment, but I felt completely alone.
My health visitor could see I was struggling and said they were going to refer me to a local charity. This was the turning point.
When my phone rang, I didn’t know what to expect but I was greeted by a warm, welcoming voice. The woman said: “I’m from Little Village”, she asked me how I was doing, she asked all about my girls, what they were into, practical things like where they were sleeping and what I needed. There was no judgment, she just listened and made a list and just made me feel seen and heard and gave me the confidence that I was going to be ok after leaving my old relationship with nothing.
It wasn’t long before I got a package delivered to my door, when I opened it, I couldn’t believe they had thought of everything – beautiful warm winter clothes and items I was desperate for like baby wipes, deodorant and shower gel. I was waiting for Christmas to fail so badly and I almost cried when I saw the toys – like dolls, colouring books and even a doll’s pram for the girls to play with. I felt so relieved and it made me feel complete.
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I hid the toys and as I wrapped them up had the biggest sense of relief, the worry of not being able to give them a gift had been a huge knot inside; my daughters were so excited when they found them under the tree on Christmas morning. I didn’t have to tell my kids that Christmas was going to be different in a bad way. We were ok, we felt safe and taken care of. It meant everything to me and made me feel like everyday after was going to be better.
I can’t tell you how much it means to me; that person on the phone, the volunteers in the baby bank who picked all the items so perfectly for my girls, the man who gave up his time to deliver it all and of course the people that donated their things or their money to Little Village. Although they’d never met me, when I had no one, they all made such a huge effort to think about me and my children during a rough time when I really needed help.
I’m glad to say things are much better now, I’m working as many hours as I can as a hairdresser while I balance childcare and the girls are in a really good place; doing well at school and happy. Once I was in a better financial situation, I went into the Little Village baby bank near me and gave them £100, I wanted to give something back and to help other families – Little Village was there for me when I felt like I couldn’t turn to anyone else.
For a lot of single parents, we have to put on a real front. Feeling like you are failing your children, is every parent’s worst nightmare, which stays with you until you can correct it. As the parent we can adapt and go without, but for children it’s difficult for them to understand why they’re not getting things like other children, particularly at Christmas.
When you give to Little Village you may feel like it’s a small gesture, but it had a massive impact on me and my family. When you give, you give people hope of a better future – we should all try to help each other, that’s what Christmas is all about.
Happy Christmas
With love,
Sara
